Sabra
🌶️ Overview
Oh Sabra, how much I want to love you but you play too much. No, I'm not talking about a past high school girlfriend but rather "America's #1 rated Hummus Brand for 10+ years" as shown on label above. To eb clear, America doesn't know Sh** about hummus because I wouldn't even serve my wife's boyfriend a spoonful of this poor excuse of a hummus. To the uninitiated, the Sabra (prickly pear) is Israel's national fruit and is supposed to serve as a symbol of Israeli identity with the prickly, tough exterior and ever so sweet interior. Sabra leaned into the prickliness but forgot to add the sweet half. Now that this Israeli product has been taken over by our corporate overloads at PepsiCo, a company's whose signature product people only buy when the stores out of Coke, I have no problem writing my own unbiased, unabashed review.
👃 Aroma & Appearance
The aroma slaps you in the face, pantses you and reminds you of all your deepest insecurities. Damn is that thing strong! The lard-like appearance is not arising feelings of peckishness in me either. I will say the packaging is iconic and stands in a league of its own. In 2025, catfishing is alive and well and this packaging will entice you like a Ladyboy in Thailand only to leave you realizing you in fact did not want the taste of that nutty flavor forever engrained in your mouth.
🥄 Texture & Taste
Spoiler alert to the next section, this thing is sour (in all the wrong ways). It's hard to peel back the onion (metaphorically uncooked), on this one given the acidity. Despite my fiery critique, this Hummus is edible and could be worse. While they drown it with lemon and garlic, the tahini and chickpea base is still there and you can find a way to get down and groovy should you be in a pinch. While I coming in hot in this review, there will be worse hummuses to come and while you won't be calling home (or anyone in this case), you could do worse. Serviceable may still be an overstatement but not far off.
🍋 Acidity
In what can only be described as "Slap your Momma Sour," this thing will leave you not desiring more. I lie awake at night scratching my head, wondering how they managed to ruin this hummus so much with acidity. Garlic and lemon lover overdose-ers come running, because this is precisely the hit you need. Plus if you need to cauterize any wounds, look no further!
🔥 Verdict
Sabra, I ask for your forgiveness after torching the vampire-favorite, garlic spectacular that we call Sabra. The Israeli connection makes me want to love it but flavor is King and this Hummus is a mere peasant begging for bread.
Final Score (Store Ranking): 4.9 / 10 — Serviceable-adjacent, sour packet lemon and garlic extravaganza. Eat at your own peril.